I'm not sure about your part of the country, but here in beautiful historic downtown Frederick, we're having a snow day today. I'm blessed to live close enough to walk to work - so I'm experiencing the beauty of the scenery without the angst of the drive!
That wasn't always the case. Seemed an appropriate time to re-share this historical post from my commuting days ...
SNOW DAY:
One of our workmates just had surgery. Naturally, many of our team members wanted to send over some meals to ease his recovery. Since our friend lives an hour away, I offered to pack a cooler and drive it all down to him on Sunday. They were calling for snow all day, but as I walked into the early service at my church, I thought “It doesn’t look like snow yet. I think I’ll be able to make the food run, maybe even get back home before it starts.”
You know what happened, of course. I walked out of the church service to find 2-3 inches on the ground, with more coming fast.
But what the heck. We have a little 4WD pickup. It’s already got 150K miles on it (not a big deal if I have to pull it out of a ditch.) It was beautiful outside. Traffic was light. So off I went. It felt like a little adventure, really. Until I got about 10 minutes down the road.
The roads weren’t all that bad; the plows and salt trucks already had a jump on it. I was driving cautiously, of course, but didn’t even need 4WD yet. I was working my way steadily up a modest hill when I noticed a big 4WD Ford Excursion stopped on top, with hazards flashing. I was hoping he'd move a little so I wouldn't have to stop below the crest … when I noticed he was moving, albeit at 2MPH. In front of him, there’s a modest downhill, just a couple hundreds yards long, with a curve at the bottom, and I realized he's riding the brakes as though he’ll be able to creep down it the whole way. I know the road, so I know he’ll then be at the base of another short hill, another couple hundred yards long, with no momentum. And you how that's going to work out ...
Sure enough, it all plays out just as expected. He half-slides down the hill from riding the brakes, and then he fishtails up the next hill. He barely makes the crest, stops again, and now he’s clearly in a full-on panic. This leaves me stuck behind him for another 20 minutes while he creeps along at 10MPH, even as the road flattens out. He’s literally stopping on top of every bump in the road so he can ease down from the crest. These bumps aren’t big enough for my 5 year old to sled down, and the dude is stopped, trying to ease his way down.
Did I mention he’s driving a 4WD, off-road ready, Ford Excursion? Ford’s marketing execs would be freaking out about their brand image if they saw this thing - because it’s not looking anything like their advertisements right now.
Fortunately the Excursion turns down a side road and I’m finally making some progress again. I'm mulling the irony of it all, when just a few minutes later, I come up on a Hummer H3. And he’s doing the EXACT SAME THING! The roads aren’t even bad yet - and he’s totally panicked!! My little pickup with the worn tires and no weight in the back is doing just fine - and Mr. H3 is barely surviving it in his trail-chewing, glacier-crossing, testosterone-sweating Hummer!? Totally visceral reaction: I hear myself laughing out loud, saying “Why would you even buy that ....?
I meant no condescension. If snow is not your thing, it’s not your thing. No issue. The question is - why pretend? Like if they really were Excursion or H3 guys, that would have been awesome. They'd have been breaking trail for me. Instead, they made it more dangerous for both of us ...
Well, it took me awhile - but finally it dawned on me: Mr. H3 (and like him, Mr. Excursion) probably didn’t buy his car for what it is or who he is - he probably bought if for who he wants me to think he is. Sure seems they'd have been a whole lot better off spending their money on firewood and brandy to enjoy the snow day at home ...
I know many of you learned this revelation in Marketing 101 - but you’ll have to be patient with me. I went to engineering school. We learned how stuff works. Sometimes I'm still trying to figure out how people work.
(The original post drew some comments that perhaps I might offend some people driving big vehicles. It shouldn't. The post has nothing to do with cars or trucks. But if it does - perhaps you're getting a little gut check on "authenticity.")